Numb
His eyes blearily open, feeling the cool metal headboard against his back. A lady in uniform enters with breakfast; toast, a banana, coffee with a small milk carton. Using his arms to lift his body further up, he realizes something is wrong. He cannot feel his legs. He peeks under the covers, and sees nothing.
Effective use of minor details.
ReplyDeleteI get a very strong image from this as the action is played out, except for the part where he peeks under the covers. I feel as though a different word than "peek" could have been used- I get a childish connotation from peek. I also image him holding himself up with one hand and lifting the sheet up with the other hand to look under, does that make sense? Not really, I followed it too literally. :P
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